musings of a dweebling

Earlier today, we had a small group discussion and halfway through it I let out a very annoyed “Yesssss” to my groupmate who was asking is we should add a certain disease to our differential diagnosis. After that moment of pure maldita, I resumed listening to the discussions and answering whenever I’m asked.

After the session my friend called me “maldita girl” and told me that I’m very suplada. Yup, this is the time you start asking, sooo? hehe You see, I grew up believing that I’m a nice girl, polite, soft-spoken and all that shizz. But recently I’ve received a number of comments, telling me how I’m very obvious whenever I’m annoyed. I’ve tried to ponder on that during my lull moments (ie jeep rides, car rides, long walks) and then I realized I’m that type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. I don’t have a poker face, I’m all surface. My emotions really manifest and I’ve not developed a way to at least have em subdued. Is it too late for me to practice now? Bleargh.

I badly need a hug. A legit hug. The one that’s unhurried. The really tight one. The one that will make you forget even for just a minute that doom is impending upon a certain aspect of your life (i.e. research study). 

Ever since college, research never liked me. I’d try and try but somehow my efforts are always not enough. I’ve analyzed this for a couple of times now, and again this afternoon while taking a walk around our school. I suck at research. I suck at time management. and I worry too much. 

I don’t know how to fix myself. I don’t know what went wrong. All I know is that nothing else in this world gives me this kind of heavy feeling, only research.

It’s during moments like this that I find myself so farrrrr from my goal which is to learn how to fully leave it all up to God. I really want to do that because from what I’ve gathered that’s the secret to the lightness of being. But like all things, this is easier said than done.

I pray for more strength. Lord, help me give it all up to you. Help me stop worrying and have more faith. Help me internalize that things will be okay. please.

ramonbautista:

Bigla mong ibanat “Huy! Alam mo ba, crush kita dati?” at ang bawat component nyan ay loaded.

Ganito:

Yung “Huy!”, ine-establish mo na pang tropa siya,

Yung “alam mo ba” pang start ng usap yan,

Yung “crush kita” ay isang paglalandi na totoo naman,

Yung “dati” ay isang patotoo din at safety feature,

At yung “?” ay isang punctuation mark na nagsasabi na kailangan nya mag reply at the same time, pwede ring rhetorical question yan.

Sa chat maganda i-banat yan kasi kapag sa message, malamang i-hahaha ka lang at ‘di ka makaresbak ng follow up question -pag naganun ka, disconnect o close agad ng window. Pag sa wall, baka pagtawanan ka lang ng mga mutual friends niyo, lalo na yung mga epal.

tanong?

béatifique: You're blessed

beamarquez:

I came across The Message version of The Beatitudes. It just sounds so beautiful since it’s more understandable and personal. :)

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most…

As of date I don’t have followers here on tumblr. That’s kinda sad but the truth is I’m still not sure if I really want to put my thoughts out there or if I just want a personal record of it. So Ima leave stumbling upon my site up to fate, or google chrome’s browsing history or whatever. heehee

I originally made this blog just so I can search for my friend’s top-secret tumblr account and tease him about it. Halfway through filling in my account info, I thought why not try to give my brain some exercise and practice my writing skills. Okaaay okaaay my writing cant quite qualify as a skill, but ye know with the advent of twitter and facebook I’ve grown accustomed to saying what I want to say in 140 characters or less. I mean, I’d tweet or post a status update, people will like it, some will rt or reply to my tweet and we’re all good. So that practice makes it hard for me to elaborate myself sometimes and I end up saying chorva and chuchu a lot.

With this blog comes my hope that someday I’d find myself easing through articulating my thoughts and maybe, just maybe I’d be touching lives too. 

(via inside-neverland)

alas-dos:

Frank Zappa win.

feel good song for this busy Thursday night

fmam:

MAYER HAWTHORNE - THE WALK

I love this video despite its unoriginality…everything’s hardly original anymore!